Tim: Living and Thriving with Cerebral Palsy

In this week's episode, I am talking to Tim, an avid sports fan and a popular employee at LADD. Currently living on his own, he’s the winner of the Spirit of Independence Award. Tim shares insights into life as a person with cerebral palsy, discussing growing up with a service dog, education with and without the assistance of aides in the classroom, and challenges like moving out for the first time, learning to cope with anxiety, and the significance of speaking up for oneself. This is his story. You can watch a captioned video of the interview on the LADD youtube channel.

Transcript

Tim (00:03)
I started having anxiety attacks and panic attacks. They were talking about the Y2K. I would freeze up and I wouldn't know where to go. I would get sweaty and tight.

I don't look at my disability. ⁓ I had to speak up on a regular basis now, and I'm not afraid to speak up anymore. Hey, hey, I've got a story for you Right here today And some history too Never fade away Listen what I say Story's here to stay Never fade away And never fade away

Kate (00:58)
This is Never Fade Away.

an oral history project centering untold stories by and about people with developmental disabilities in Ohio. The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are those of the storytellers and not necessarily endorsed or representative of the producers. I am your NeuroSpicy host, Kate Siahaan-Rigg, and this podcast is brought to you by LADD, a Cincinnati-based organization grounded in the belief that all people have ability and value.

LADD empowers adults with developmental disabilities to live, work, and connect. Here are some of their stories.

Tim (01:37)
with.

Never fade away, listen what I say, story's here to stay Never fade away

Kate (01:56)
In this week's episode, I'm talking to Tim.

an avid sports fan, and a very popular employee at Ladd. Currently living on his own, Tim is the winner of the Spirit of Independence Award. He shares his insights into life as a person with cerebral palsy, what it was like to grow up with a service dog, education with and without the assistance of classroom aides, and challenges like moving out on his own for the first time, learning to cope with anxiety, and the significance of speaking up for oneself.

This is his story. All right, here we go. So Tim Valerius, you work at Ladd right now, right?

Tim (02:38)
Yep,

I've been here. I've been at main campus for almost eight years. at the front desk.

Kate (02:51)
So you've got a pretty important job right now. You want to tell me what your job is?

Tim (02:54)
I

answer the phone and I greet people when they come in. ⁓ Another thing is when people get packages from UPS or FedEx, I'll tell the people when their packages arrive.

Kate (03:15)
So I mean, you're dealing with the public, you're handling the phones, you're receiving packages. I mean, these are all like pretty high responsibility jobs. do you think that people are surprised that someone with a disability, I mean, not at Ladd, but I mean, in the greater population, do you think that people are surprised that someone with a disability is doing all these amazing things?

Tim (03:38)
Maybe, maybe, maybe. But I'm just a regular person. I don't look at my disability as much. It's like, I'm just like any other person.

Kate (03:55)
go back

because I want people to get to know you Tim. Like I know a little bit about your background. I know you won an award recently, right? What was that award you won?

Tim (04:05)
I won the Spirit of Independence award back in September of 2024.

Kate (04:16)
So just last year. Yeah, and well what that's pretty cool. So tell me about that what what they gave you that award for

Tim (04:22)
It was

about, it was award on my independence.

Kate (04:30)
Yeah, because you live independently, you work independently, right? Yep. All right, let's go back to the beginning. I'm really interested, we've talked to some people who are a lot older than you, who were put in institutional settings and didn't have an aide at school and they had a very different experience. First, I want to ask you, Tim, are you comfortable talking about your disability and telling people who are not seeing the video and just listening about your disability a little yeah. OK.

Tim (04:58)
A long time with it.

Kate (05:00)
So, so for the people that are just listening to this podcast, Tim, ⁓ what, what is, what were you told is your disability? What is your disability?

Tim (05:11)
It was a, it's like a first in Korean. ⁓

Kate (05:17)
And are you the oldest of your siblings? Yeah. So, and do you mind me asking you how old you are?

Tim (05:24)
I'll be, well, I'm 44 right now and I'll be 45 in December.

Kate (05:35)
Well, you look really young for your age. Congratulations.

Tim (05:38)
Thank you. Sexy. know

what? Age

Kate (05:47)
Age is just a number, you're right. Okay, so when you went into school, like when you were in primary school, right? I think the, was the ADA already in effect?

Tim (06:00)
Let's see. I started kindergarten back in 1986.

Kate (06:08)
So

that's before, because the ADA got passed in 1990, although there were some things. So do you remember what school was like for you when you were young?

Tim (06:18)
Well, I went to a school for a couple years called Roselawn Condon. And it was basically a school for the orthopedic ally handicapped. And it was too far away for, well, my parents lived in Sheratonville.

So they put me at the Roselawn condon and my parents felt that I needed to be in my neighborhood.

Kate (07:04)
Yeah, so what happened then?

Tim (07:06)
So I went to the Christian district, my neighbor district.

And it was called Evendale, Evendale Elementary. And I just moved myself up. I worked myself up doing inclusion when I first moved into my district, Evendale.

Kate (07:23)
Okay.

So what you're saying is when you were in like junior kindergarten, kindergarten, you were in a school with other people with orthopedic disabilities, right? So other people with disabilities basically, right? And then your parents were like, that's too far. So you came into your own district and that was an into, was it right away? Was it an integrated experience for you?

Tim (08:00)
Well, they listed me in the MH class, which was, I think it stands for multi-handicapped. Then I went to DH. Then by the fifth grade, I was in a special education class. What did you do? Well, like a class with

five other students. Then I was in inclusion where they included me and Red Lerner and I'm clear.

Kate (08:50)
What year did that, so what grade was that that that started the inclusion? ⁓

Tim (08:54)
⁓

fifth grade. Fifth grade. Fifth grade.

Kate (08:57)
So let's talk about like, was it very different, like how you felt and what it was like and how fun it was before and after?

Tim (09:05)
love

the inclusion because I was with my, you know, my normal age friends and, you know.

Kate (09:18)
So in the other classes, was it like a mixed age experience?

Tim (09:21)
Yeah, I think so. ⁓

Kate (09:27)
Yeah. And in the inclusion class, did you have an aide with you or were you by yourself?

Tim (09:32)
I

I had an aide that worked on me, that worked on me, worked with me one on one.

Kate (09:40)
⁓

So walk me through like so great after grade five walk you through like a typical day at school like for people who don't know what it's like to have an aide in class and that Experience like what was that like? ⁓

Tim (09:54)
⁓ It was good. ⁓ They would help me and then if other people had questions, they would have come up to my aide and they would help me. They would help them out.

Kate (10:11)
Were you sort of friends with your aide? What was his name? was his name?

Tim (10:14)
Yeah, huh?

You mean in school? Well, I had plenty of them, but the first aide that I had was his name was Spence Moutman. Spence Moutman.

Kate (10:37)
What ⁓ was of all the aides you had during school who was your favorite?

Tim (10:42)
Well, I had one in middle school too. His name was Greg Bender, Mr. Bender. When I went to high school, I had a glacier made for a while.

Kate (11:00)
That's different than a one-on-one, right? Can you explain that to people?

Tim (11:03)
Yeah.

Well, they would help out everybody.

Kate (11:08)
Everybody with a disability or everybody in whole club.

Tim (11:12)
Everybody in that class had the same pledge remained.

Kate (11:17)
I got it. What do you think Tim makes a good aide, a one-on-one aide? Like what makes a, like what's a good one?

Tim (11:24)
They

know my hobbies or what I like. I'm a big sports fan. They like the Reds and the Bengals. So it's not a sports in general.

Kate (11:48)
You guys came close with the Bengals recently, right? remember there's a lot. It was pretty exciting.

Tim (11:54)
We

almost won the Super Bowl in 2021. Hopefully we'll get back there.

Kate (11:58)
I know.

That's

what I'm talking about. Yeah. So you also do sports, right? Can you tell me about all the sports you did during school and stuff?

Tim (12:11)
Yeah,

yeah, ⁓ when I was younger, I used to do T-ball.

And I was in the Challenger League for a while. Then I did bowling for a long time. I started bowling when I was almost five years old. And well, it was through Cincinnati Recreation Commission. ⁓

Kate (12:23)
Awesome.

Tim (12:46)
at a local bowling alley called Burnwood Bowling. It was in Burnwood and then we went, I would pitch the bowling ball down a ramp and that's how I would bowl. ⁓ yeah, I would get, I would get to some 200s.

Kate (13:00)
Did you get pretty good at it?

Wow. Yeah. That's impressive. Was this an integrated bowling league you were in?

Tim (13:18)
When I first started out through the Cincinnati Recreation Commission, we were on teams. They got out of teams and then it was bowling for fun. Then in 1999, I started bowling for the unified Special Olympics.

Kate (13:46)
Wow. So what, where did, like, who did you compete against? ⁓ Like from all over the country?

Tim (13:49)
other teams.

No, not from the ca- not, not that. mean, we had so many teams in our league.

Kate (14:01)
get it, yeah. So like inside the league you were competing. Did you ever win?

Tim (14:05)
Right, right.

Yeah, we, ⁓ some years we got first place. Other years we came in second place and third place. My mind, it's a kind of rusty years.

Kate (14:14)
us.

that's okay. I'm just curious about, know, a lot of people don't even realize that people with cerebral palsy or other disabilities can even play sports, right? Right. You they don't even like, they can't wrap their brain around it. And bowling is fun because it's so specific to him. Like it's such a specific sport. What, like whose inspiration was it for you to, was it you, was it your parents? Like who got you into bowling?

Tim (14:51)
My parents, my mom and dad were big bulls back in the day. then my dad was a really good bull when he was alive. Unfortunately, back in November, I lost my dad.

Kate (15:12)
Oh Tim, I'm so sorry about that.

Tim (15:14)
It

was so sudden, but I know he's in a happier place.

Kate (15:19)
Yeah, ⁓ and you know, his energy is still probably all around you. know what I mean? It is. Because my mom died, I mean, she died when I was around your age. I was 43 when my mom died and I could still feel her energy like all the time, you know?

Tim (15:25)
it.

Oh yeah. But I like to watch your Reds and the Bengals.

Kate (15:43)
You like to watch the Reds and the Bengals? Yeah.

Tim (15:45)
And

then I'm a big Xavier basketball fan.

Kate (15:49)
That's awesome. Do you watch the Special Olympics?

Tim (15:52)
A little bit, but not that often.

Kate (15:56)
Okay, so you're more into your Cincinnati teams I get it. Yeah So, okay, so so that's we were talking about what makes a good aide and you were saying like if they have like an interest in your same hobbies, right? Like what so I'll be about like what it was like for you at school in the integrated classrooms Like how'd you feel was it fun?

Tim (15:58)
I get it, man. I do.

Yeah, yeah.

It

was very fun. My friends came up to me and we had conversations every day. And I still talk to them a little bit. I am on social media. And I have some friends from high school that I still talk to on Facebook.

Kate (16:40)
So sometimes people did not like their aides to be at recess with them. They wanted to be like, get away so I can hang with my friends. What were you like? What was your thing like?

Tim (16:50)
Well, I had mixed emotions on that. I liked to play with my regular friends, but then my aide would step in and help out when we did kickball and stuff.

Kate (17:08)
So it's kind of like it's a good thing but also annoying at the same time.

Tim (17:13)
Yeah,

it's kind of like, you know, when I had the aide with me, I was kind of sheltered.

Kate (17:22)
Yeah, understand. Sheltered. What do mean by shelter?

Tim (17:25)
Well, it's kind of hard to explain and it's complicated. More people would, well, more people would go away and shy away from me.

Kate (17:37)
You mean like if the aide was there they would shut? How do you think that is?

Tim (17:39)
Yeah, I think so. Why?

I'm not, I'm not really sure. But then I got to, I'll bring this up back in 1992. Yeah. I got a, I had a Kenan companion at service dogs. ⁓ And when I had the dog, they, they would come up to me.

Kate (18:03)
Okay, tell me about this. Now I need to know about this dog. How did you get this dog? What was it's name?

Tim (18:07)
Okay.

The dog came from what's called Canine Companions. They were located, an office in Delaware, Ohio. Okay. It's north of Columbus. And I had to learn 100 commands. Wow. Yeah. And it was a two week process of getting the dog. And I went...

I went up there for two weeks with my mom.

Kate (18:41)
Like a camp? Like you stayed there? Yeah.

Tim (18:44)
Me and my mom and my dog, Unzi. We stayed in a hotel for two weeks and we had to learn over 100 commands or something like that. After the two weeks was up, I graduated.

With the dog. Huh? With Unzi.

Kate (19:16)
So how old was Unzi when you first got him?

Tim (19:20)
Okay,

I can answer that question. He was two years old. Yep. And I had him for almost 10 years or 11 years before. had to put him down. We had to put him down. He was a corner retriever.

Kate (19:27)
he was still very young.

kind of doggy was he?

The best kind of dog, Yeah. How do you spell unzy? U-N-Z-Y?

Tim (19:51)
Okay, his full name was Andrew. Like, I want to be the race car driver. I called him Unzi for short

Kate (20:03)
You named it after a race car driver.

Tim (20:06)
I didn't name the dog, by the way. He was named... They already named the dog, already had its name. So... If I dropped stuff on the floor, he would pick stuff up for me.

Kate (20:19)
that's

So you had this dog, this is 1992, so what are you like eight, seven years? How old are you?

Tim (20:33)
was I can answer that question. I was 11 years old when I got the dog. We got it in November. We got him the dog.

Kate (20:46)
Did he come to school with you or was he only at home?

Tim (20:50)
That's the tricky part. We tried to get them into the school, but they said we had one administrator that was so...

The administrator said, you know, people are free to...

Kate (21:10)
Even though it's a service dog, he's been trained. Right. I'm sorry. So, so he couldn't come to your school with you? No. That's too bad.

Tim (21:21)
He went to my religion class.

Kate (21:28)
What's your religion class?

Tim (21:29)
It

was like a class that, um, that they would talk about our religion. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm can't, I'm

Kate (21:43)
Like on weekends you mean? This is on the weekend? What? Was it on the weekends? No.

Tim (21:48)
So

it was during the week one day, one day out.

Kate (21:52)
So

for that particular class he could come to school with you, but like regular school.

Tim (21:57)
He could come to my church.

Kate (22:00)
right, right, because it wasn't in the school where that administrator was. Yeah. So, but the rest of the time you had him like walking around with you, like in your life, right? my goodness. That's such a... Did you ever get a dog again after Unzy yeah.

Tim (22:13)
We currently have a dog well I live at Findaway It's an apartment complex in Oakley. And I've lived on my own for 20 years.

Kate (22:27)
Yeah, let's talk about that. Let's talk about you moving out.

Tim (22:32)
Well, my family dog is with my mom. His name is Cooper. He's a mini Golden and Doodle.

Kate (22:37)
Right.

I love a golden doodle. We got up until high school. ⁓ What were your hobbies and what were you doing for fun? ⁓

Tim (22:51)
I did bowling and mainly bowling.

Kate (22:59)
I mean bowling is a sport so technically And then after high so tell me your story after high school get me from like high school to moving out What was that? Well time like?

Tim (23:02)
Yeah.

I, ⁓ I mean, after high school, I went to a vocational school called Scarlet Oaks ⁓ in Cincinnati. and I did, I studied business, business technology. Which was on the computer and all that. I've been on the, I've been on the computer since three.

Kate (23:39)
⁓ yeah, you came up with when computers were a thing. Yeah. Have you noticed a difference like, you know, in accessibility in software or hardware like over the years that you can talk about?

Tim (23:53)
I can remember my first computer that I was on. Then I can tell you the first computer that I ever worked on was called an Apple II GS. And then after Apple, then I had the Macintosh computer. And then...

Kate (24:10)
Okay.

Tim (24:21)
After Macintosh, was Microsoft. Yeah. So I know.

Kate (24:28)
you switched? ⁓

So you've been able to adapt to all the different like kinds of computers. What do you have right now?

Tim (24:38)
Well,

I think, right now I think it's so weird that we use Microsoft. ⁓ man.

Kate (24:49)
doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. You're on Microsoft. like, are you using more voice to text? Are you typing? Like how exactly do you?

Tim (24:57)
It's funny that you say that because I purchased a cell phone a couple years ago for myself. And when I text, when I do a text, it's by my voice activated.

Kate (25:16)
Yeah, that's pretty amazing technology, Yeah. Was it hard to learn to type?

Tim (25:20)
Now, well, I Can only type with one hand because this hand, my left hand, is stronger than my right hand.

Kate (25:30)
Right? think a lot of people only type with one hand.

Tim (25:33)
My mom always encouraged me. She still does to the day to keep using both hands. And after I went to Scarlet Oaks for two years, well no, three years, I went to school there till I was 21. And then, and

Kate (25:40)
that's amazing.

Tim (26:03)
And then 2005, I moved out to find a way. Yeah, it was to carry it first. Okay, originally I was on the waiting List for only two years. Okay. I started to... My mom put me on the waiting List.

Kate (26:09)
Was that scary?

Tell me about that.

Tim (26:32)
2003 and it only took two years to get them.

Kate (26:36)
I mean, did you have big talks about this at home before she put you on that? Like, what did you guys talk about? And so how did you, like, as a family approach this?

Tim (26:42)
What have I been on my end?

Well, it was a big transition. I didn't live there full time. I got the call in March of 2005. ⁓ I signed the papers in May of 2005. I started paying rent.

Kate (26:57)
Okay.

Tim (27:14)
June of 05 and then I Would spend the night with my mom either my mom or they would take turn and I would spend the night with my mom and I Would spend night with them

Kate (27:23)
Yeah.

You mean you'd go back home, you'd go home, or they would come see you?

Tim (27:33)
I would

say they were gonna ring. We did that for about a month or two. And August of 2005, it It started living there full time.

Kate (27:46)
That must have been scary after a lifetime.

Tim (27:48)
Because

when I would go home on the weekends, I remember every weekend.

Kate (27:56)
What were you most apprehensive about in terms of living on your own? Was it accessibility or daily life?

Tim (28:04)
Jay,

just, ⁓ I can tell you this. It was hard living all by myself at first.

Kate (28:13)
You mean like, because of loneliness or because of being able to do stuff?

Tim (28:17)
I think both of them, I wouldn't, I would always depend on my mom and dad forever.

Kate (28:26)
What do mean by everything? ⁓

Tim (28:29)
GUN!

talking to him ⁓ and transferring out of the chair and everything, everything worked.

Kate (28:45)
I mean, I think, and now you've been living alone for 20 years.

Tim (28:49)
It's the 20th year. ⁓

Kate (28:54)
For younger kids who are listening to this who might have cerebral palsy or some other kind of orthopedic disability, what kind of words of encouragement can you give them or teaching can you give them so that they can also think about an independent life?

Tim (29:09)
I would just take, I'm taking one day at a time. Be patient with yourself. Don't get discouraged. Just be patient with yourself.

Kate (29:21)
Were there any skills that you needed to learn extra before you moved out on your own?

Tim (29:27)
⁓ I need to learn how to cook and well, my step does it for me, but speaking up for myself, I had to speak up on a regular basis now and I'm not afraid to speak up anymore.

Kate (29:48)
Yeah, let's talk about that to finish because I think that's a great kind of thing to finish talking about. So tell me about when you were afraid to speak up. What were the things that were in your way?

Tim (29:58)
⁓ let's see. ⁓ when I wouldn't, ⁓ I was afraid to speak up because of some people. I was afraid, I was afraid that, ⁓ backlash, you know, like somebody wouldn't come back and argue with me or, you know.

being confirmed.

Kate (30:28)
And did you have anxiety? I think I saw in a video it was talking about.

Tim (30:32)
Yeah, yep. Let me, um, step backwards. When I was a senior in high school, back in 1999, the 1999 year, I'm around, I want to say around, I remember 1999. started, um, I started having anxiety attacks and panic attacks.

Because they were talking about the Y2K.

Kate (31:09)
Like everything shutting down and everything.

Tim (31:12)
I took that to heart and I thought everything was gonna blow up but that wasn't the case.

Kate (31:20)
So were you having those attacks like at school or at night? Like when would they happen?

Tim (31:24)
⁓ during the day at school.

Kate (31:27)
What did it look like? So if I saw you, what did it feel or look like? What was for you a panic attack?

Tim (31:33)
I would freeze up and I wouldn't know where to go. I would get sweaty and tight. My body would get tight.

Kate (31:46)
So who taught you or how did you learn how to manage that?

Tim (31:49)
My mom, my mom and dad took me to a psychologist and worked things out. And they eventually got me a medicine for it. So by the second day of the school year, I had a one-on-one pain to get me through the school year.

Kate (32:16)
So it was Y2K that did it, huh? Y2K. It's so interesting that you could pinpoint it to this one thing, you know, that made you... And so when the year 2000 happened and the world did not completely shut down, did the panic attacks go away?

Tim (32:32)
Eventually they did. But when I first moved out, they came back again.

Kate (32:37)
Okay, so that's why we're making the connection. Yeah. And then was it the same process to get through it the second time? ⁓

Tim (32:47)
Well, yeah, I saw another psychologist. He was located in...

This is an ⁓ area. And he got me through some stuff like breathing techniques and

Yeah, of like relaxation. That's it, son. Count the time and clench my fist. I'm out of tension now.

Kate (33:24)
Do you still do that when you get anxious? ⁓

Tim (33:27)
no, not that much. I think my dad's really helping me out with my anxiety.

Kate (33:36)
You know I understand the spirit is coming in. I love this. so, and let's relate that to what the last thing we were talking about, is speaking up for yourself. Like you eventually started speaking up for yourself. Do you remember making a decision to start speaking up for yourself? Like how did that turn?

Tim (33:53)
It just came second nature to me.

Kate (34:00)
What are the kinds of things that you think people with disabilities don't speak up about that they should speak up about?

Tim (34:05)
Okay,

⁓ first of all, would say don't let anybody put you around. And stick to your guns. I'm trying to stick to what you believe in. Nobody.

Kate (34:26)
Okay, so what were the kind of things that, what did you need to speak up about?

Tim (34:29)
Okay, speaking up for, you know, like, you know, for somebody to help me with the dishes and...

Kate (34:40)
Were you afraid to ask for help when you first moved out?

Tim (34:43)
Yeah, I was. I had to be on the names of the

Kate (34:49)
I think it's important because I think people can relate to it. know, after you move out of your family home where you don't really have to ask because people know you and you're comfortable, right? Yeah. So how did you get over? Like, I mean, was it that you were starving or did you get over like needing to ask for, you know, stuff? Well,

Tim (35:08)
see this.

Kate (35:09)
Sure. It's really just about how did you find the courage to start asking for what you needed.

Tim (35:16)
I would just tell people what I needed. When I spoke up for myself, ⁓ things got done. ⁓

Kate (35:32)
Like it worked out for you is what you're saying.

Tim (35:34)
Yes, it did. ⁓

Kate (35:37)
This is so great. This has been such a great talk.

Well, Tim, I just I love that you are like this sort of icon and example of independent living almost like since you first started grade five. Like it seems like you just got integrated into the world, you know, would you? ⁓ So and do you love your job? Tell me about your job. Do you like it? What do you love about it? ⁓

Tim (36:01)
love it to death. love

being in the office and I love interacting with my coworkers and the friendships that I made over the last, it'll be eight years in January. I think it'll make me, well, I started this job in

Kate (36:24)
So incredible.

Tim (36:30)
2017, so...

Kate (36:33)
Do you have any dreams that you still like are like, what are some of your dreams that you have for your life now?

Tim (36:39)
I

plan on working in until I retire.

Kate (36:45)
Are there any special things you want to see or do, you know, in the world? ⁓

Tim (36:50)
⁓

I know. I know my mom keeps saying, don't you meet somebody like a significant other so you can, so, so that our family can grow.

Kate (37:09)
You know, it's not such a crazy idea. was thinking more like going to the Super Bowl, but you brought it over there.

Tim (37:16)
Well, ⁓ I guess you never know.

Kate (37:20)
I guess you never know. Well, I think you're so super lovable and you're out there every day on the front lines. Thank you so much for speaking to us today about your life, Tim. It's been really great getting to know you. problem. ⁓ I guess if anybody wants to find you, they know where to find you. They got to come to Ladd and check you out.

Tim (37:46)
They

do. They do. It's not so bad after all. I mean, living, I'm living, it's good to live independent.

Kate (37:52)
It's not, what's not so bad after all?

Yep, having cerebral palsy not so bad after all, huh?

Tim (38:06)
Yeah, I can do anything any other people can do. Memories of days gone by How we were the when and why Living with a disability The story of us, the story of me Never fade away Never fade away

You